Canon EF 1200 mm f/5.6 L USM telephoto lens.

If you're into bird watching, the holy grail would have to be the Ivory-Billed Woodpecker, a huge (20" tall with a 30" wingspan), yet incredibly elusive woodpecker that despite reports of extinction, is spotted every now-and-then deep in the boonies of Florida and Arkansas.
It's also known as the 'Lord G-d' woodpecker because that's what spotters have been known to blurt out - often accompanied by soiled trousers - when dive-bombed by one. 'Lord G-d' has also been exclaimed - minus the soiled trousers - by those seeing a Canon 1200 mm /5.6L USM for the first time. At 36lbs, 33" long and 9" wide at the front element, calling this lens a 'tele' is like calling King Kong a monkey.
Need something longer? A Canon Extender EF 1.4x boosts the beast up to a 1680/8, and the Canon Extender EF 2x will get you to a 2400/11. For what it's worth, if you couple this lens to a Rebel XTi or EOS 40D you end up with the 35mm-equivalent of 1920/5.6, a 2688/8 with a 1.4x extender, and a 3840/11 with a 2x extender. If you need to focus any tighter to your subject you'll have to hop a plane and fly there.
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